Should I give it a shot? - 9 year age gap?
I’m 18 years of age, living in the United Kingdom, so I’m pretty much legal for everything – including *** and drink.
I’m currently in Sixth Form College, and will take my final A Level exams and leave college within the next month.
I’m turning 19 on September the 2nd 2009, and will be starting a degree at university.
My problem is that my favourite teacher kissed me, and I let him.
He’s only 28 years old, and I have been attracted to him for two years, but had never really conceived the idea until now.
I refuse to so much as kiss him again until I have left college, as I do not wish to jeopardize his job.
But I am very much considering dating him after I have left, so he is no longer my teacher.
Is this a good idea?
He’s a very respectful man, and he has apologised wholeheartedly for kissing me.
I feel very comfortable around him; he’s a very clever man, albeit a tad impulsive and I find myself very attracted to him.
What do you think?
I’m not considering a relationship outright? - But should i try one date and see how it goes?
By: Luella
Tags: 28 Years, Age Gap, Dating
September 28th, 2009 at 22:39
yep. im 39 and my girl is 17
September 30th, 2009 at 11:10
18 is way too young to get involved with a 28 year man. 9 years isn’t that much but believe me you do not want to.
October 2nd, 2009 at 06:58
its fine as long as he is not using you.
October 4th, 2009 at 17:23
I’m going to give you a real answer that you probably haven’t thought of.
You are being very mature about this. You kissed him, you enjoyed it but controlled yourself, and refused to kiss him again until you have left for college. You are interested in persuing the relationship as long as it doesn’t jeopardize his job.
This is all very good, but what about him? Is he being the same maturity that you are?
He is 28, and a high school teacher (I’m assuming). He is unmarried and not dating anyone, when at this age most people are married and having their first child, or at least in a serious relationship. He has just kissed one of his students, an 18 year old, who although legal, is still his student.
This are classic signs of someone who has a ****** for younger girls. Look it up if you don’t believe me, and read people’s stories. This ****** won’t go away, and you’ll age. So you might have a great relationship, might be soulmates, but will it ever be stable, comfortable and safe? He will always have the urge and attraction to younger girls, he may or may not act on them in the future, but are you, who seems like a really mature and successful girl, going to take that chance?
Think about it, and I do urge you to go online and read some stories about relationships that have started the way yours would.
October 6th, 2009 at 06:58
Next time grab his pencil and squeeze very tightly.
Just kidding, you are an adult now and you obviously like him….you don’t need anyone to tell you really. Your a big girl so make your own choises.
October 7th, 2009 at 04:20
Statistically speaking you are not the only girl he has done this too. I wouldn’t trust him or the situation.
October 10th, 2009 at 12:42
If you are of age, follow your heart girl! You sound mature, and you have left and he is no longer your teacher. I see no problem with it, I am sure that plenty of people will have something to say, but if you make sure it isn’t just sexual and you two are truely interested in eachother, then you should be on your way to a new life expierience. Follow your heart and your first gut instinct always. My parents are 10 years apart and have been married for well over 40 years.
October 13th, 2009 at 05:37
The age gap isn’t so bad. My wife and I have a very healthy marriage. We have an 8 year age gap.
We get along better than most of our friends who are closer in age.
Good Luck
October 14th, 2009 at 14:05
Remember that men and women of different ages are looking for different things. While you’re looking at him as a mature partner for a long term relationship, what do you think he’s looking for in a relationship with you? I speak generally, as I’m sure your specific situation is far more complicated than we can know, but really…any other 28 year old looking for relations with an 18 year old girl…it would seem he has ulterior motives.
October 17th, 2009 at 21:27
the inly thing that matters is love
October 20th, 2009 at 22:09
You should date People around your own age.
October 21st, 2009 at 02:42
I truly feel sorry for you, Miss.
Nearly a decade is a monumental age difference.
Maturity, life experience, basically everything will differ between the two of you.
October 22nd, 2009 at 23:02
I’m 28 and would KILL to get on some hot 19 year old.
October 24th, 2009 at 15:13
Well your both adults, so give it a shot:]
October 25th, 2009 at 19:26
I dated a 32 when I was 19. looking back at it I laugh, it was such an experience full of mistakes and a lot to learn and way to grow so if you see yourself capable of putting yourself through it try it
October 28th, 2009 at 13:14
I think you should if you feel comfortable - age doesn’t matter and there are many other people dating with much wider age gaps than you.
October 30th, 2009 at 04:03
i think u should just give it a try!!!!
October 30th, 2009 at 09:01
Give it a shot. My grandparents are 10 years apart and they are great happily married couple
November 1st, 2009 at 06:22
age is nothing. my boyfriend’s cousin is 19, and her boyfriend is 28, they have the same birthday so its exactly a 9 year difference. they have been going out for about 2 years, and they seriously hit it off.
they love each other. i think if you really truly like him alot, and he treats you right, you should go for it!
good luck
November 4th, 2009 at 08:06
if you are in love with him go for it
obviously not until you’ve left college
if you feel you are only attracted to him and there are other people out there you feel the same way about, let him go, if he is what you say he is, he’ll understand
November 5th, 2009 at 21:25
sorry bun but he is not respectful of you or his job
he would be sacked if the school knew and for good reason too , he is abusing his authority. i have no problem with the age gap but wonder how many other girls he has kissed in his career as a teacher
i know you dont like my answer but i am just being honest
November 7th, 2009 at 22:35
It’s not the age gap that concerns me, it is the student/teacher relationship.
Wait until you have made a clean exit from your current school. I don’t know the law where you live, but my gut says wait 6-12 months.
November 9th, 2009 at 02:09
As long as you are both legal and doing thinks on your own, then yes, I’d say ‘who cares’, just go for it, you are both still young and living your lives. ^_^
November 12th, 2009 at 00:43
In all truth, you are not the only woman he has kissed. Trust me.
I wouldn’t.
November 14th, 2009 at 19:04
I don’t think you should do it. However you feel about this guy, he probably only sees you as a possible conquest. You’ve given no indication at all that his interest in you is anything at all beyond sexual.
Kissing you then apologising is in fact a pretty standard tactic to gauge your interest and hopefully intrigue you enough to get you into bed.
Charm is not the same thing as good intent. Don’t fall for it.
November 17th, 2009 at 22:33
If you love him you love him, and it should just feel right. Just know what you may be getting yourself into by dating a former teacher, though.
November 19th, 2009 at 22:29
i think that’s alright, love has no age limits…and your attraction for him seems genuine.
November 21st, 2009 at 18:05
Haha isn’t being kissed by the attractive teacher one of the most common high school fantasies?
I think you are correct to wait until after you’ve finsihed at college but after that- go for it! You only live once ^_^ just make sure you’re careful! Don’t rush into anything too fast, make sure he’s what you’re after first ^__^ You should also make sure someone that you know and trust knows too, just so you have someone to turn to if you need it.
November 21st, 2009 at 20:42
\yep go for it [ just do wat u said] about waiting until u finish college cuz my bf is 16 [ turning 17 ] and im 13 and people bother us about it but dont worry as long as u love him and he loves u its great and remember age is nothing but a number
November 22nd, 2009 at 23:52
You need to know if he’ done this before with other girls.
I’m thinking no because he’s apologize so much but maybe he’s slick and that’s part of his game.
November 24th, 2009 at 09:03
theres a seven letter word for that honey, I-L-L-E-G-A-L
I don’t consider him to be a very respectful man
November 26th, 2009 at 20:52
i’ll say go for it…………….
November 29th, 2009 at 00:45
AGE DOESNT MATTER!!!
November 30th, 2009 at 04:06
You should try it, if it doesn’t work, what’s there to lose?
Since you’ve known him for like 2 years now, then you already know his personality. Right?
Give it a shot. Age doesn’t matter. My auntie and uncle are like 10 years apart, and guess what? They’re happier than my parents. My parent’s age gap is 8 months and they’re not very happy being together.
December 2nd, 2009 at 03:24
Give it a shot, yes. You sound mature & he seems respectful, however the answer above about experience & age might make it a struggle is true. You’ll only have a chance if you have things in common & plenty to talk about. Also, if your relationship is going to go anywhere long-term, you’ll ultimately want to discuss life plans like if he wants kids within 5 years & you want to wait 10 or 15- oops. You’ll definitely need to talk. Make sure he’s interested in the level of relationship you are & not just looking for a fling.
The teacher-student thing shouldn’t be a problem. Ask him about it & the policies set in place at work.
My parents were 7 years apart. My sister & her husband are 10. It can definitely work. The only thing is you’re rather young at the the time. My sister & her husband met much later in life, so they both had careers & college educations & frankly more adult things going on.
If a relationship doesn’t form out of this, perhaps it could just be a summer fling. You’ll never know unless you “give it a shot” like you said, so talk to him. Ask him to meet you at a coffee shop. It’s not too intimate & there’s no alcohol to muddle your thoughts.
Best of luck! Have fun!
December 2nd, 2009 at 15:10
hey..
your agediiference is of 9 yrs.. No, prob lm f you are confor table with it.. but youshould fora guy near about to your age… there are many who are avalable on, where most of eople fing their dating partner. youcan visit here on it’s totally free.
thanks
December 4th, 2009 at 02:54
He was 9 years old when you were BORN. When he turned 18 and ready to graduate, you were only 9!! There is an entire world of difference in the experiences and knowledge between a child and an adult. Of course he SHOULD appear mature and sophisticated to you and naturally you would be attracted to that, BUT, that in NO WAY makes it right!!
I KNOW why you are attracted to HIM, my question is WHY he is attracted to YOU. No offense, but THAT is not a good sign. He should not even LET himself be attracted to someone as young and inexperienced in life as you IF he is as “respectful” as you think he is. My son is 28 and I scold him harshly for even looking at girls under 21.
December 7th, 2009 at 11:27
sounds hot…
lol
i say give it a shot as long as its after you leave, i see no problem wit that.. if he likes you so much that he couldnt control the urge to kiss you then you two definately have a chance
also life is short, at least give it a go other wise you may always be asking ‘what if’. who knows he could turn out to be the love of your life… or not but whatever.
ps go england and hot teachers (Y)… big fantasy of mine hahaha
December 8th, 2009 at 20:40
9 years? that’s nothin’ really! my partner and i r 13 yrs apart! we’ve been together for 3 yrs. he’s the best! go for it, have fun! u r an adult now!!! enjoy!
December 11th, 2009 at 22:28
You see at 18 you are an udult and can do all legal encounters. The good example is that you can fall in love and out of love.
The law prohibits love affairs between a student and a teacher. You say he is a respectable man, then this means you wouldn’t want to tanish his name and reputation.
That having been said and done, now what?
a) You should complete your studies, priority.
b) You could agree to be just friends until you finish.
c) You could just reject him totally.
d) Fall in love (taking chances) what if they found out?
Administrators? (maybe not a good option).
So, there are you options.
I usually say people should follow their hearts, not this time.
You have 2 constraints:
a) He is a teacher
b) You have to finish your studies.
As long as you can handle it in a mature manner, that is after assessing the sorounding issues, then decide.
Happy decision making.
December 13th, 2009 at 16:07
I am State side male Teacher dirtyoleman. totally Different for each time it happens this time He nudged the boundry. If you think you can adjust YOUR view of him kissing a student;;; Then stick wit the plan;;;; Through your graduation cap in the air and jump his bones.
December 16th, 2009 at 01:11
I would advise against it at this time.
Reasoning:
You may be of legal age and feel all powerful and independent.
But you have just reach that level. You have no real experience.
You are just a baby entering into the adult world.
He is considerably older than you in percentage terms.
He has had more life experiences than yoiu. [ No offense, just true facts. ]
After the infacuation wears off, what will you two have in common to talk about.
I am the first to admit I like younger women. But experience has taught me the lady needs to have more life experiences which comes with living and growing older. I don’t need a gorgeous body with nothing else in common. Just doesn’t work over time.
I get bored with her and she gets annoyed with me.
We just move on.
I see the same thing here.
It is the rare execption like this that works out.
Maybe you two are the exception but the odds are against you. IMHO.
I suggest you go on to your University, meet other people and maybe in 6 or 8 months reflect on how you feel about him then.
If you still feel drawn then maybe approach him on a more adult level.
Just my 2¢.
Hope I did not offend you.
December 17th, 2009 at 18:06
I think you are correct. Do not date him even once while he is your teacher.
Finish college first. Verify that he is single and not in a relationship before you even consider contacting him or seeing him after you leave college. Keep in mind that being legal for *** and drink also require good judgment when faced with decision making in other areas of your life. At your age, 19, a nine year age gap should not matter much if the other factors are favorable. You seem to have good reasoning and self discipline. No, do not date him now. Stay on the right track. Best wishes.
December 20th, 2009 at 16:42
It’s legal to drink AND have *** at age 18 in the U,K? Wow! Anyway, if he is very respectful, clever, and cute, go for it! If he’s a teacher, I would trust him. Unless it’s like the teacher from Prom Night… ugh! LOL! N E whooo, I would definitely trust him. They wouldn’t hire him if he was a molester! GO FOR IT!
December 22nd, 2009 at 20:07
Yes, it’s a good idea for you to date him. I mean, it’s 18, it’s not like you’re breaking a law or something. You should go out with him if you feel that way around him. Go for it.